Life, The Universe And Everything…Posted: February 20, 2012
The alarm went off at 7am. We’ve recently moved it forwards half an hour to let Mike get a bit more sleep.
It was a bad night. My chest and throat are STILL playing up – even after two months. I’d gone to bed early as I was absolutely wiped out, but hadn’t been able to settle – I’d laid down and got one of those dratted tickles and tightness in my chest that started me off cough, cough, coughing until I was truly hacking away just as Mike came to bed. I toyed with getting up but was just too tired, instead I laid there and concentrated really hard on stopping the coughing reflex… I eventually managed to get to sleep for a few hours, and then waking. It felt around 2.30-3am – my usual time for rising out of my only period of deep sleep but as always I checked the time on my phone. I take it to bed with me as our morning alarm is on it – with windchimes ready to gently wake us… Much better than an awful radio station. I turn off all the bits that might make a noise or distract me with flashing lights though so it’s just a clock.
10.18pm? It certainly didn’t feel like 10.18pm… Mike came to bed around that time and I knew I’d had some sleep since then. I took it out of ‘airplane mode’ so it could get an update from the mobile network and waited for the time to change to closer to what it felt like. Now one of the other apps thought it was 7.18pm – what on earth….? I woke myself up a little more thoroughly, rebooted it and it eventually sorted itself out – it was 2.48am… I eventually managed to fall back asleep, albeit slightly worried about whether it would fritz again or would wake us up on time.
7am. Bloody windchimes…
I felt absolutely knackered. So did Mike. He often doesn’t sleep well, even less so when I’m not 100% – waking up and worrying if I’m ‘ok’ every time I move.
I got up with Mike as I always do – it’s not fair him having to do the morning ‘chores’ by himself as well as have to go to work… I did the usual feeding of the cats and emptied the dishwasher like a zombie… Mike, bless him, told me to go back to bed, saying he would if he could! I kissed him as he went off to work. And then went back to bed.
I rarely do it. Usually when I do, my body temperature drops too quickly and I end up freezing cold, trapped between awake and asleep, unable to go fully in either direction, usually ending up with terrible nightmares. Not nice.
This time, I managed to get toasty warm, had one of our cats curl up solidly against my legs, and managed to fall asleep before my chest started itching and the coughing could start again.
Three hours (yep – three hours…) I woke up. Ooops. 11am… I could have gone back to sleep again, but reminded myself I’d like to get some sleep tonight…
Instead, my morning latte called to me so up I got. Washed, dressed and feeling slightly more ‘human’, I headed downstairs.
Nectar of the Gods in hand, I opened up my MacBook Air and start my current routine, checking my emails, Facebook, Twitter, BBC News, job boards, and finally WordPress. The majority of my emails are from blogs I follow, letting me know they’ve got a new post soI read through those first.
I definitely needed some inspiration for my blogs this week, and had a good old rummage around WordPress to try get my ‘creative muse’ in harness. (I know muses shouldn’t really be ‘in harness’ but on days like these, they’re certainly not doing it because they want to!)
I don’t really like ‘Freshly Pressed’ – it just isn’t updated often enough, so my preference is to browse around ‘Tags’. I usually look at ‘Life’, ‘Lifestyle’, ‘Food’, ‘Blogs’ or ‘Blogging’, ‘Writing’ etc. This morning I found six new blogs I liked enough to follow. They, like others I follow, all touched me in certain ways, and after I finished reading various posts (some of which will be with me for quite a while), made me remember one of the reasons I wanted to start blogging.
Over the years I’ve intermittently kept journals. I have a shelf with lots of, at best, half-filled journals that I occasionally leaf through, reliving certain events in my life. When I look through, I notice the large number of entries aren’t what you would call ‘happy’ – quite a few are painful in fact…the loss of my parents, Mike’s parents, my period of depression, being made redundant, the loss of some of our cats…but there’s also some really great times – holidays in Barcelona, Seville, New York, Las Vegas, great places around the UK. There’s even a book with a self-help exercise I went through for several months – a ‘gratitude journal’. And some entries are just ‘stuff’ written when my life was wonderfully ordinary…normal… Pages written when I sat in coffee shops watching the world go by and generally musing about Life, the Universe and Everything.
I started blogging because I wanted to try ‘virtual paper’ instead. Something I could edit as I went along – move things around so it ‘read better’ – something I could spell-check (maybe even grammar-check – who was I kidding!) and that wouldn’t have unsightly crossings out. I still carry a paper based ‘theme’ book when we travel to jot down things I observe, or overhear, or that leap into my head during a moment of brilliance – and I keep a little notebook on me all the time for day to day bits and pieces – several pages are supermarket shopping lists! They’re just tools to help me write – definitely not ‘journals’!
I also wanted to be able share my experiences more widely – who knows, someone might find it interesting, or helpful, or it might even make them feel better – make them laugh, make them cry – whatever they need. That’s an ‘added benefit’ though – not the main reason I started.
And so I’ve decided to remember all that, and occasionally ignore my ‘audience’. Remind myself I’m not just doing this for them – to give them something ‘interesting’ or ‘thought-provoking’ or ‘useful’ to read – but also for me. Make my blogs (or at least this one) somewhere to just get stuff out of my head – record what I’m feeling, thinking, experiencing – even if it’s mundane.
So I can go to my virtual shelf, and flip through the pages of my life – my time on this earth and the experiences I’ve chosen to record. Look back and laugh, cry, smile, whatever – remember the good times, the bad times, and the blessedly perfectly normal.
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