Why Do I Do It…?

***WARNING***

This post has been given a  ‘PTMI’ ( (Potentially Too Much Information) rating of 8/10 – you have been warned 🙂

Why do I do it…???

“Do what?” I hear you ask…

Well… being as you asked… I’m sitting here with a tub of Ben & Jerry’s Chocolate Fudge Brownie ice cream in front of me and I’m going to eat it – all of it – in one sitting – in fact before it’s at perfect eating temperature…you know, that wonderful gooey not-quite-in-its-frozen-state-anymore-but-about-to-become-a-liquid state…to be honest, my sturdy spoon is in danger of being bent due to it being the total opposite of perfect eating temperature – it can’t defrost fast enough…

If there were any other ‘bad’ foods in the house, they would be in serious danger right now…lucky for me (or not so lucky for me in this state of mind) I don’t get them in anymore.  No bars of ‘normal’ chocolate, or crisps, or pizza lurking in cupboards…just fresh veggies etc in the fridge along with some cold meats and bacon – none of which appeal to me right now I’m ashamed to say… I’m being  very strong and NOT going online to look at pizza takeaway menus – heck I’m even thinking of cracking open a bottle of wine  so I won’t get in the car and go get takeaway chicken and fries (which always makes me feel like cr*p after I’ve eaten it when I’ve succumbed in the past…)  I don’t drive if I’ve had any alcohol at all…

I’ve not had a ‘bad’ day at work – manic and tons to do yes – but I actually like it like that.  Ok, starting my usually clockwork precision-like period 4 ******** days early whilst still at work – and in the middle of marathon back to back conference calls  – without realising  – wasn’t good  – in fact if Mother Nature had been standing in front of me at the point I realised – or even now come to think of it – she’d have been told to stick her ‘monthly gift’ where the sun doesn’t shine – but like I say, in the scheme of things, not a ‘bad’ day at all.

BUT

Can I be bothered to make ‘wise food choices’ right now – no.

If I had another tub of ice cream in the freezer would it be in danger after I’ve scraped the bottom of this one clean – yes.

Would I care – no – ok maybe I would after the second tub – my tummy (and head) are starting to complain a bit after the first one actually if I’m honest – that (was) alot of sugar… (yep it’s all gone…)

I do find myself back at where I started at the beginning of this totally random post – what on earth makes me do it???   Then again… I can’t be arsed trying to analyse it and life’s too short to regret my less-frequent-than-they-used-to-be lapses of good judgement 🙂

I’m off to get some paracetamol for my headache…


Best Laid Plans…

Firstly,  apologies to anyone who finds what I write interesting enough to read on a regular basis and has noticed my absence…I’ve been preoccupied.  The days are flying by at an alarming rate and when I look back, I don’t seem to be doing very much with them – apart from working – which is a good thing and something I’m immensely grateful for.  I guess it’s just all part of getting back into the rhythm of things again.

It’s strange how quickly my focus and priorities have changed around again…I’d previously started filling my days with grocery shopping, cooking and cleaning, washing and ironing – that kind of stuff (and writing of course!) – whereas my days are once again filled with the job (which is coming along fine – a steep learning curve as with anything new, but I’m getting there…), and evenings are trying to fit in grocery shopping and making our main meal, as well as ‘decompressing’  before going to bed.   Cleaning has definitely taken a back seat – the vacuuming only gets done when it’s REALLY irritating me (and as I look at the carpet in front of me, that may be soon…), and laundry when we start to run out of key things – both are shameful I know, but hey…

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Blogging Therapy…

I keep trying to write a post.  This is my third attempt –  two in the trash so far – probably another one to follow it.

I’ve something I want to write about  – an almost cathartic need…I start but then get all tied up in my head and find it hard to actually make any sense.  And if I do manage to ‘get it all out’, will I be brave enough to click the ‘Publish’ button – putting some of this down on ‘virtual paper’ – and sharing it – isn’t comfortable – or easy.  I honestly think it’s better out than in though…

Oh well…here goes…

I’m seriously fed up of not being able to find work.  My last job finished at the end of July last year, and I’m getting absolutely nowhere.  I didn’t choose to stop working – I’m not starting a family or retiring.

We need me to work.  We need the money I bring in. I’ve got to find work.  Our blessing at the moment is Mike’s current contract which is covering all our outgoings.

A little voice inside my head keeps wittering on at me – I’ve spent over 20 years of my working life wishing I didn’t have to or need to work.  I’d tell myself if I wasn’t working I’d have time to do things I never had time or energy to do.  Keep the house looking nice – you know, dust…vacuum all those Read the rest of this entry »


‘We Interrupt Our Usual Programming…’

I’ve found it really hard this week to write anything on my blogs.  A mixture of apathy and illness have left me feeling sorry for myself in general.

English: Verso. Puzzle card. Find Santa Claus ...

Sounds like good stuff...! Image from Wikipedia

There’s a pretty nasty little bug going around at the moment and I’ve got it (again) – sinus infection / chest infection – both have left me pretty much a sleep deprived, unsociable and unpleasantly noisy gunk monster (I know…too much information…).

Cough mixture , menthol lozenges and paracetamol are my bosom pals.  I’m even attempting to sleep propped upright (my last resort when it’s bad like this), but that just means what little sleep I get (almost free of feeling like I’ve got an elephant sat on my chest pricking my lungs with a very sharp knitting needle), isn’t exactly ‘quality’.

This is the third time it’s visited since December – the dratted thing thinks I’m an hotel!  (No matter what anyone says about ‘h’s’ being treated like vowels and needing an ‘an’ rather than an ‘a’ before them, that just looks so wrong!).  My immune system is usually pretty hardy, but this one is punching through my defences…I blame it on having my appendix out last October… Grrrrr…..!  Even my poor husband has almost gotten to the end of his tether with my  cough-cough-coughing through the night.  I think it might be getting a little bit better though – just a little…

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